What should be asked constantly is why is the healthcare system in the US so horrible that people of any wealth stature need to create Go Fund Me pages in the first place. This should NOT be something Americans should need to rely on to pay for healthcare.
Rich. Elite. Poor. Wouldn’t not matter to me. If someone asked for help I’d do my best financially especially during a tragic time like that. We need to stop putting people on pedestals and see them as a persons or like this a grieving family
It says a lot about our culture that people question generosity more than they question billionaires consolidating power. You’re right, passing the hat for someone facing illness isn’t elitism, it’s humanity. The resentment feels misplaced my love.
This is so well-written, so well thought out, so compassionate, and so clear. Some (very loud) people will look to blame anyone other than the actual people to blame. Thank you for writing this.
I completely understand, Alyssa. I have actor friends who were on fire in the 80s and 90s and now struggle to pay the bills. It’s a very different industry now. The entire business model and subsequent payout to talent isn’t what it once was. Eric and James’ families experienced a profound loss and it’s not unreasonable to think of them and make a donation in their time of need. I know you feel the sting of this streaming Hollywood and I continue to support your endeavors 🙂
For some reason, society perceives actors and public figures as "debtors." They are seen as indebted to their audience. To their popularity… But let's remind each other more often that the only thing we owe to each other is lending a helping hand to those in need before it's too late. There are no "actors," "singers," "salespeople," "stylists," "nannies," or "cleaners"; there are just PEOPLE. Believe me, each of them has a long journey behind them. A journey worthy of respect that took strength and time. Most of us, except for the "elite" billionaires Alyssa mentioned, have earned every dollar through our own labor and have sometimes earned nothing at all. I want this society to stop thinking through the prism of money. Please think with your heart and empathy. That's all that can save humanity in our time.
Thanks for the insight into acting and screenwriting. That’s going to be foreign to most of us. No one should make assumptions about people. A familiar face could be stone cold broke. The guy in the loud shorts standing next to you at WalMart could be a multimillionaire. You never know.
Thank you for this reminder. My heart aches for his Eric and James’ families, especially their children. I lost my parents young. I was 15 when Dad died and 20 when Mom joined him in the other side. You never really get over it, but it does give perspective. I have listened to my friends and acquaintances resent their parents’ choices made when faced with their own mortality. It’s disappointing to say the least. “Judge not lest ye be judged”. And your parents owe you nothing in the long run once you become an adult. They didn’t ask to be born either.
Mad respect to you, Ms. Milano. Been a fan since “Who’s the Boss?” And Healthcare is the biggest racket out there. I spent eight years working in a health insurance office. It’s a cruel system designed to keep the wealth at the top. No one should be losing their house because of healthcare.
You named something larger than just this moment. The word “elite” has become a way of turning neighbors into adversaries. It keeps frustration horizontal instead of asking harder questions about where power actually lives.
Community care should not become suspect simply because someone is recognizable. If we continue to be trained to resent the visible rather than protect one another, we move further away from the kind of world most of us say we want. Kindness and mutual support are not luxuries. They are infrastructure.
I also want to acknowledge the very real losses James Van Der Beek and Eric Dane and their families are facing. Whatever people assume about Hollywood, they are fathers, husbands, and human beings first. Illness and crisis do not check your IMDb page before they arrive.
I’m not part of that industry and I don’t pretend to understand how pay structures, insurance, or residuals actually work. What I do know is that medical care in this country is staggering, and community support should never become suspect simply because someone is recognizable.
Thank you for speaking up for their families and for the broader community of people who make films and television. It takes courage to hold nuance publicly, especially when it would be easier to stay quiet.
First and foremost my heart goes out to the families and friends of Eric Dane and James Van Der Beek.
Secondly, I wholeheartedly agree with all the arguments put forth in the post. And the clarity and tone with which it was written. It really brings to light many important points.
I think for some (myself included sometimes) the rub isn’t necessarily that good hearted humans like Eric and James’ families are asking for help, financially or otherwise. Or that they’re getting it. Any human should be deserved of that grace. The rub for many comes when those who aren’t in that celebrity* role of sorts, doesn’t garner much or any attention at all in a time of need. (NOTE: I don’t mean celebrity in traditional Hollywood sense, more just someone perceived as deserving of respect).
I suffer from a severe and chronic illness and have worked no more than a few months over the past 7 years. My financial problems are likely going to be as chronic as my illness. I lost a family member to the same illness years ago and young family members were left behind. And family friends have passed away in similar fashion. We were all normal citizens, working hard, enjoying life, until one day we weren’t. While efforts were made by those close to us to raise funds/awareness, and despite some of the positions we held in society, or our communities, none of them garnered much, if any, attention.
This isn’t about me, or my family and friends. And I certainly can’t speak for everyone. Some are going to indeed be angry regardless of the argument. What it is about is ensuring we extend grace to all who deserve it. We mustn’t dismiss the families and friends of people just because they’re perceived as “celebrities with money”—someone struggling, is someone in need and we must rally and help. In the same vein, we mustn’t walk by those in our communities that are experiencing those same struggles.
This is so on point. Thank you. So many people see actors or "stars" as idols, icons, those who made their dreams come true, and they start to resent the success of "others." It is as misguided in this context as in many others. I have had my share of "crushes" on actors, not necessarily in the romantic sense, but as an admirer of true talent. I've even written some fan letters over the years. But I also know that we are all just... people. When corporations became "people" under US law, that was the attempt of "the system" to break down the true human characteristics of compassion, empathy, and love. AI is threatening it again. But "the system" continues to enrich the true elites while the vast majority of folks, including our much admired artists, have to struggle. Thank you for this. Thank you for passing the hat.
What should be asked constantly is why is the healthcare system in the US so horrible that people of any wealth stature need to create Go Fund Me pages in the first place. This should NOT be something Americans should need to rely on to pay for healthcare.
Rich. Elite. Poor. Wouldn’t not matter to me. If someone asked for help I’d do my best financially especially during a tragic time like that. We need to stop putting people on pedestals and see them as a persons or like this a grieving family
It says a lot about our culture that people question generosity more than they question billionaires consolidating power. You’re right, passing the hat for someone facing illness isn’t elitism, it’s humanity. The resentment feels misplaced my love.
This is so well-written, so well thought out, so compassionate, and so clear. Some (very loud) people will look to blame anyone other than the actual people to blame. Thank you for writing this.
Thank you, Alyssa. As a former agent and manager, I know first hand that you are absolutely correct. 👍🏼
Stop putting them on pedestals. See them as a person. If their family asks for help it’s for a reason. Less hate more compassion
Oh sweetie- that you even had to write this hurts my heart. Thank you.💕
Me too.
Oh girl if you’re a hugger I’m sending one - hell, I’m sending one anyway.
I completely understand, Alyssa. I have actor friends who were on fire in the 80s and 90s and now struggle to pay the bills. It’s a very different industry now. The entire business model and subsequent payout to talent isn’t what it once was. Eric and James’ families experienced a profound loss and it’s not unreasonable to think of them and make a donation in their time of need. I know you feel the sting of this streaming Hollywood and I continue to support your endeavors 🙂
For some reason, society perceives actors and public figures as "debtors." They are seen as indebted to their audience. To their popularity… But let's remind each other more often that the only thing we owe to each other is lending a helping hand to those in need before it's too late. There are no "actors," "singers," "salespeople," "stylists," "nannies," or "cleaners"; there are just PEOPLE. Believe me, each of them has a long journey behind them. A journey worthy of respect that took strength and time. Most of us, except for the "elite" billionaires Alyssa mentioned, have earned every dollar through our own labor and have sometimes earned nothing at all. I want this society to stop thinking through the prism of money. Please think with your heart and empathy. That's all that can save humanity in our time.
Thanks for the insight into acting and screenwriting. That’s going to be foreign to most of us. No one should make assumptions about people. A familiar face could be stone cold broke. The guy in the loud shorts standing next to you at WalMart could be a multimillionaire. You never know.
(I don’t own loud shorts, BTW 😁)
Thank you for this reminder. My heart aches for his Eric and James’ families, especially their children. I lost my parents young. I was 15 when Dad died and 20 when Mom joined him in the other side. You never really get over it, but it does give perspective. I have listened to my friends and acquaintances resent their parents’ choices made when faced with their own mortality. It’s disappointing to say the least. “Judge not lest ye be judged”. And your parents owe you nothing in the long run once you become an adult. They didn’t ask to be born either.
Mad respect to you, Ms. Milano. Been a fan since “Who’s the Boss?” And Healthcare is the biggest racket out there. I spent eight years working in a health insurance office. It’s a cruel system designed to keep the wealth at the top. No one should be losing their house because of healthcare.
Thank you, Alyssa, for hour very well-written and heartfelt essay. I will do what I can for these families.
Compassion should not have a means test.
That is my next poster, Alyssa Milano. You said it all right there. Thank you for reminding us.
You named something larger than just this moment. The word “elite” has become a way of turning neighbors into adversaries. It keeps frustration horizontal instead of asking harder questions about where power actually lives.
Community care should not become suspect simply because someone is recognizable. If we continue to be trained to resent the visible rather than protect one another, we move further away from the kind of world most of us say we want. Kindness and mutual support are not luxuries. They are infrastructure.
Yes. Thank you. ❤️
I also want to acknowledge the very real losses James Van Der Beek and Eric Dane and their families are facing. Whatever people assume about Hollywood, they are fathers, husbands, and human beings first. Illness and crisis do not check your IMDb page before they arrive.
I’m not part of that industry and I don’t pretend to understand how pay structures, insurance, or residuals actually work. What I do know is that medical care in this country is staggering, and community support should never become suspect simply because someone is recognizable.
Thank you for speaking up for their families and for the broader community of people who make films and television. It takes courage to hold nuance publicly, especially when it would be easier to stay quiet.
First and foremost my heart goes out to the families and friends of Eric Dane and James Van Der Beek.
Secondly, I wholeheartedly agree with all the arguments put forth in the post. And the clarity and tone with which it was written. It really brings to light many important points.
I think for some (myself included sometimes) the rub isn’t necessarily that good hearted humans like Eric and James’ families are asking for help, financially or otherwise. Or that they’re getting it. Any human should be deserved of that grace. The rub for many comes when those who aren’t in that celebrity* role of sorts, doesn’t garner much or any attention at all in a time of need. (NOTE: I don’t mean celebrity in traditional Hollywood sense, more just someone perceived as deserving of respect).
I suffer from a severe and chronic illness and have worked no more than a few months over the past 7 years. My financial problems are likely going to be as chronic as my illness. I lost a family member to the same illness years ago and young family members were left behind. And family friends have passed away in similar fashion. We were all normal citizens, working hard, enjoying life, until one day we weren’t. While efforts were made by those close to us to raise funds/awareness, and despite some of the positions we held in society, or our communities, none of them garnered much, if any, attention.
This isn’t about me, or my family and friends. And I certainly can’t speak for everyone. Some are going to indeed be angry regardless of the argument. What it is about is ensuring we extend grace to all who deserve it. We mustn’t dismiss the families and friends of people just because they’re perceived as “celebrities with money”—someone struggling, is someone in need and we must rally and help. In the same vein, we mustn’t walk by those in our communities that are experiencing those same struggles.
This is so on point. Thank you. So many people see actors or "stars" as idols, icons, those who made their dreams come true, and they start to resent the success of "others." It is as misguided in this context as in many others. I have had my share of "crushes" on actors, not necessarily in the romantic sense, but as an admirer of true talent. I've even written some fan letters over the years. But I also know that we are all just... people. When corporations became "people" under US law, that was the attempt of "the system" to break down the true human characteristics of compassion, empathy, and love. AI is threatening it again. But "the system" continues to enrich the true elites while the vast majority of folks, including our much admired artists, have to struggle. Thank you for this. Thank you for passing the hat.